Here we are in the Daise damily home.

It looks like arts and crafts time. A chance for a mother to bond with her daughters and make them feel special.

And enter Binyah Binyah.

I'm not sure who showed that pollywog how to work the doorknob, but I'm damn sure they've long since regretted it. If a monster like that charged inside my house whenever it damn well pleased, I'd be eating pollywog soup for a month.

It turns out Binyah Binyah was just looking for food. What he is asking for today is soemthing called 'Shoe Fly Pie".

The family wastes no time digging up old skeletons, however, and they remind Binyah Binyah about the year where he was so hungry he knocked over the picnic table.

And he is thoroughly shamed.

See Binyah Binyah? You just don't deserve any food.

That's right. Miss Natelie wants you to beg for your food. It's cruel enough they grow you to this size and make you live in a tree, but you need to get on your knees and beg to be fed. It's just how Miss Natelie gets her jollies.

Ok Binyah Binyah. You can get fed today. We'll make that 'Shoe Fly Pie' you keep choking about.

Next scene shows James and his friend Emanuel clicking away at the family laptop.

They are apparently writing a report about Gullah Gullah island, and they want to know where the Pollywogs came from. Were they brought here from somewhere else? Were they always here? Isn't a pollywog the transition state between a tadpole and a frog?

Mr. Ron is amused. He knows the answer to their inane question, but he sure as hell isn't giving it away. He tells them both that they need to find it themselves.

The children are appaled. You can actually see Emanuel mouth the words 'Fuck that shit.' They've already spent a full five seconds at the computer, clearly enough time to prove their dedication.

The boys give in, however, and ask Mr Ron where to look.

Mr Ron shows them over to the Gullah library, hinting that a 'Gullah History Book' might be lying around somewhere, and then strides away under the ruse of 'setting up decorations.'

Me? I'll bet he went straight to the laundry room in order to show Simeon a thing or two about Pollywog Day.

Here we have Miss Natelie and the kids baking that pie for Binyah Binyah. Apparently the steps for making Shoe Fly Pie are:

  1. Find pears that have insect wings attached to them
  2. Put them in a pile
  3. Cover with a pie crust
  4. Bake in oven

Binyah Binyah looks on, grabbing any food within his reach and shoving it in his maw, while croaking about how hungry he is.

I almost pity the thing. Almost.

Some table discussion brings up the topic of 'Old Mac Binyah.' Old MacBinyah was apparently's Binyah Binyah's ancestor that lived on the island long before the Daise family, where insects worked with Old MacBinyah on a farm. Helped him. The insects and a giant pollywog managed a farm together. This is the story that Miss Natelie asks her youngest daughter to believe.

Shayna thinks about this and starts imagining what this farm might look like.

and imagines it to look very like a studio set where the Daise family sings a modified version of Old MacDonald. Except they are all insect and pollywog jokes.

Sooo many pollywog jokes.

Mr Ron sings about the bee that lived on Old MacBinyah's farm.

That's a sweet hat, Mr Ron.

And here we have Binyah Binyah with a corncob pipe big enough to smoke Simeon's head.

Your life is not complete until you watch Binyah Binyah holding this pipe while choking out the words 'Old MacBinyah has a farm'.

Oh I just lied to you now. How I lied. When I saw Mr Ron and Miss Natelie pardoy American Gothic, I promise you I felt something strange and unique, kind of like getting deja-vu and a punch in the face at the same time. Binyah Binyah's got nothing on Mr Ron.

You should download the entire episode for this one song alone. Seriously.

This song may seem like the apex of the show, but it isn't. Theres more drama, more pie, and I promise you, more Binyah Binyah.


So keep reading to part 3.


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