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As far as I'm concerned, the Cajuns has it right from the start. Loud music, crazy dancing, and tons and tons of food. There is a certain mentality that is required to invent something as amazing as Gumbo. Whoever was there with a table full of food and a big empty pot sure had the right idea, just toss it all in and stir it until it's delicious.
I imagine New Orleans to be alot like that scene in Big Easy with the Cajun band playing music to all sorts of dancing folk while they chow down on a big pot of Gumbo. But now, instead of traveling to New Orleans for Gumbo, we can watch Andy H make it the old fashioned way, with plenty of elbow grease, and plenty more meat, so join us, with:
The idea of Gumbo is simple: take food, mix it up, serve hot, and watch the socks shoot off your feet. Good Gumbo always has lots of meat in it, and what meat is But that's later and this is now. And so for now, nuke up some frozen chicken breasts, and get ready for some stirring.
We have Andy here manning the roux, which is probably the most annoying part about making Gumbo, but also the most delicious. To make roux, just add in one bit flour, one bit oil, then stir your heart out.
I'm serious when I say Andy put some elbow grease into this. The longer you stir it, the more the flour cooks into the oil, which means the better it tastes.
As the roux heats up, it will begin to gain viscosity and color. If you stop stirring and let it burn, you will have to start all over. So keep stirring damn you.
You know you're done stirring when the roux turns a dark poo-like brown and gains a thick poo-like texture.
What I love about about cutting boards is that you make turn the dirtiest filthiest kitchen workable by putting down a clean piece of plastic, which means less time spent cleaning, and more time spent not cleaning. The traditional Gumbo probably consists of okra, onions, tomatoes, goldschalger, green peppers, and god knows what else, but if you're anything like us, you sure as hell don't have half of those things lying around, so grab one of those green peppers and an onion and chop the shit out of it. Oh and some old sausage, everyone loves sausage.
By now I'm sure you have cooked up the chicken, so cut that up. If it's still raw and pink, don't worry about it, just add some paprika or something.
To get into the true Cajun spirit, Andy started raiding his cupboard for any other meats he might have neglected.
And the search paid off!! Indeed what was found was canned turkey, in all it's sweet sweet glory.
And in it goes, officially making this the greatest Gumbo ever.
If you don't have any canned turkey, I'm sure some cat food would do the trick. It's probably a good idea to cook it all together again just for good measure.
Whatever you put into Gumbo you're going to get out of it, one way or another. So make sure you're adding a little bit of love as you spoon the substance into the roux.
You can add water to the mix if you want it more soupy than glue-like, and for the love of god don't forget to keep stirring.
Rice, I forgot to mention rice. Gumbo is best served with rice, which is the absolute perfect compliment. You've got the sticky meaty Gumbo and fluffy white rice, which all adds up to a truly wonderful eating experience.
At this point Andy's sister Katie shows up and declares that the house smells like shit. Not just any shit mind you, but people shit. Anyway she begins sniffing around the kitchen looking for the source, which seems to be coming from Andy himself.
In an attempt to prove his innocence, they go off into the living room where they engage in a fierce smell-fest, until deciding that they both are indeed the losers. ... I'm just kidding, eventually she got used to the smell which is more of a permanent presence than anything and we all got back to cooking Gumbo.
For the first round of taste testing, it is declared that the Gumbo is slightly bland. Obviously we haven't been following the strict Cajun guidelines, and so Andy begins again searching the kitchen for things to throw in.
After a stint where Andy started tossing in whatever spices he could get his grubby little mitts on, it was decided that we should find a spice, stick with it, and shake the shit out of it. After a mild debate, we decide that the Cajun seasoning is the way to go.
And so we shook it. I have to recommend the Cajun seasoning with this meal. Who would've thought it would go so well?
After simmering for a good while, it's time for the second taste test, steaming with deliciousness.
Let me tell you, the reason Gumbo is great is the same reason Gumbo should be served hot, which, ironically, is the very reason people let food cool off before eating it. That said, it was about as good as you are going to want to imagine. Which is alot. Truly.
I title this picture: "The Great Gumbo among the Oranges Peels"
And now I present, the life cycle of the Gumbo:
0 hours: INFANT
2 hours: ALL GROWN UP
6 hours: GOLDEN YEARS
12 hours: OLD BALLS |
