1) Sex: Male Female 2) Do you close the bathroom door if you are alone in a house? Yes No 3) How about if you are not alone? Yes No 4) Do you stand or lean to one side when you wipe? Stand Lean 5) Do you mentally remember everything your hands have touched since you last washed them? Yes No 6) Have you ever been arrested? Yes No 7) Could you be in jail right now for the illegal things you've done? Yes No 8) The figure below that I like least is: 9) Presented with and I like the following the most: 10) Does the phrase "And now for something completely different." mean anything to you? Yes No 11) How about the phrase "Apes are monkeys too" Yes No 12) Or "..Making your dreams come true, for you. Making your dreams come true" Yes No 13) Have you ever been the first to show up to a party? Yes No 14) How about the last to leave? Yes No 15) Do you golf? Yes No 16) Do you disc golf? Yes No 17) Have you ever given blood? Yes No 18) Are you an organ donor? Yes No 19) Would you consider donating your body to science? Yes No 20) Are you a vegetarian? Yes No 21) Are you a vegan? Yes No 22) Have you ever tried being either? Yes No 23) Do you download music illegally? Yes I used to.. No 24) Do you download applications illegally? Yes No 25) Are you currently downloading anything illegally? Yes No 26) Have you ever shoplifted? Yes No 27) How about anything over like 10$? Yes No 28) Would you spank your child? Yes No 29) Would you shake them? Yes No 30) What is worse: being labeled as liberal or conservative? Liberal Conservative 31) Would you vote for Arnold if given the chance? Affirmative Negative 32) Did you vote in 04? Yes No I would've if I could've 33) Do you know what the term "Political Flamewar" means? Yes No 34) Do you watch TV news? Yes Ha! No. 35) Do you watch MTV? Yes No 36) Do you pretty much gag at anything on TV? Yes No 37) How about Iron Chef? Yeah I do love that show Nope... 38) Do you remember when you learned the truth about Santa? Yes No 39) Have you ever been the one that told anyone the truth about Santa? Mwhahaha!! Yes! No 40) So what's the deal with Bush? Evil mastermind!! I think he's just a total dumbass. He thinks what he is doing is good for this country, really he does. Still a dumbass. I don't totally agree with him, but he sure as hell is better than anyone the Democrats have coughed out. He is one of our greatest presidents ever. God appointed him. 41) What's the deal with America? Man, I wish I lived in Europe or Canada or something... America stands for some great things, it's just our damn policies that piss me off. America is the greatest, and will always be. Nuff said. 42) Do you believe you will see the end of America as the the lone superpower in your lifetime? Yes No 43) So what's the deal with this site? I think you try too hard Ed. It's kinda amusing, I guess. I think it's just fine. More content! More updates! Weh weh weh!! 44) Can you sing? Yes No 45) Can you play an instrument? Yes I used to... No 46) Can you juggle? Yes No 47) Have you ever killed a mammal? Yes No 48) Roadkill doesn't count. Still have No 49) Neither do mice traps. Yep No 50) Or hunting for that matter. ...blood... No 51) Did you know I sometimes photoshop the pictures to make them look better? Yeah I kinda assumed What? Photoshop? 52) Could you format your own computer? Yes No 53) Do you floss at least once a day? Yes No 54) Are you a beer snob? Yes No 55) Are you a music snob? Yes No 56) Aren't we all music snobs? yeah, I guess so... yeah, I guess so... 57) Are you one of those people that talks to your friends on the phone at freaking 9am? Like, all the time Sometimes, but rarely Never 58) How about at like noon? Fucking Christ. Like, all the time Sometimes, but rarely Never 59) Speaking of which, how about that guy? He never existed He existed, but was just a good guy. None of this son of god nonsense. He is the son of God, and we should follow his teachings. Those that don't follow Him will be condemned to Hell for all of eternity. I don't have a freaking clue. 60) What about his dad? There is no god or creator of any sort, and organized religion was created to keep the masses in line. There is some sort of creator or something, but none of that bible writing nonsense. There is a God, and He wrote the bible, or something like that. There is a God, and He created man in his likeness. Oh and evolution is nothing but liberal propaganda. I don't have a freaking clue. 61) Would you permanently change your name to "Poo McSlapmychest" for $10 million? Yes No 62) What about "Frank Franklin"? Yes No 63) What about "Slut McFuckInMyTruck" Yes No 64) What if it was $2 million? Yes No 65) Would you rather be a master chef or a master breakdancer? Chef Breakdancer 66) Would you rather have a flying carpet that can't be destroyed and you can never lose and can go up to the speed of sound, BUT you lose your legs, or every one of Darth Vader's powers? The flying carpet The powers 67) Would you rather your legs twice as long, or your forearms? Legs Forearms 68) Did you ever read the daily comics as a kid? Yes No 69) Are you considered athletic? Yes No 70) Do you typically pull the tags out of your t-shirts? Yes No 71) When you do though, are you always careful to not tear the fabric? Yes No 72) What is more important, career success or personal satisfaction? Career success Personal satisfaction The two are one and the same 73) Could you properly explain what a 'pun' is? Yes No 74) Could you properly explain how this joke is supposed to be funny? Yes No 75) Ok, done. Wait, please more! Thank the freaking lord.
Forget it.