Full Name Andrew Todd Hoogenakker II

Hometown Lake Zurich, IL

Age 22

Physical Characteristics Delicate cheekbones, tender lips, leathery knees

Family One older sister. No, Anders, I am not submitting pictures or phone numbers

Major
Wildlife Ecology
Latin American Studies

Career Aspirations
Career? Like a job?

Sexual Status/History: As the only historically single roommate at 415, I feel I should explain my situation. I was really excited to move in with these guys. Imagine my shock when I found out all five of them--the same guys who shower in threes and throw knitting parties—were straight. All of them. But on a more serious note, if you or anyone else that you know is looking for a nice jewish boy with a soft carress and no transmitable diseases call the house. Girls only, please. No fatties.

Type of Dehydrated Fruit which Best Represents Me

Social/Recreational Preferences

Employment History
Kong ming Cantonese food
Lake county forest preserves
Walmart photo lab
Parking lot striper
Cow milker
greenbush

If I Could Change One Thing at 415 W Dayton it would be:
My roommates. And bigger speakers

Off to Aushwitz: Borat or Hog? Hog. Lazy fucker

My favorite embarassing story about a roomate is: I’d love to provide a story about Trieb, but he’s so proud of the things that anyone else would be embarrassed about. Ie:
Masturbating to the victorias secret and stuff websites
Getting arrested in his underwear passed out on a streetcorner
When some semen “accidently” landed in his mouth when he was jerking off
His totally irrational fear of aliens and crop circles
The Black Sabbath incident

In two years I will be: living in triebs basement
In five years I will be: living in my sisters basement after trieb kicks me out
In twenty years I will be: living in my moms basement after my sister kicks me out

In five years my roomates will be: I think Jaybird’s predictions are pretty accurate, just mixed up:

Eddie B: Wearing expensive suits, hair slicked back, closing deals
Cooter: STILL IN SCHOOL (what a f---ing slacker!)
Trieb: Chef at a restaurant in central/south america
Pnizz: Working with kids and happily married
Jaybird: Dicking around with computers and still looking at fark

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