I once thought that avocados were a 'fringe fruit', with guacamole being the one and only end product made from them.

How little I knew. Little did I know that avocados have the potential of being featured every day of the week in every single meal. So let us follow the course of cousin Ryan, who has taken it upon herself to explore and discover the many wondrous dishes avocado can produce, one of which now featured in today's article:



The 'surprise' in Avocado Surprise comes at the end of each meal, when Ryan finds out if what she made was edible or not.

To get to this mysterious avocado surprise, we trek 20 minutes southwest, past the Polish homesteads, through the park, into the land of Williamsburg.

I don't yet know what to make of Williamsburg. It is a strange dynamic place. Arguably the most multi-cultured of all of the Brooklyn neighborhoods. Where photoshopped graffiti will be called out and graffitied upon in retribution. Where I wish I knew Spanish.

Ryan's door, nestled between a nail salon and a Hispanic takeout place. It's awesome is what it is. The door I mean. 'Tis a fine door.

Ryan's stairs. Climb up them to get to the avocado.

and we arrive in Ryan's apartment, where Ryan has decided to make Avocado smoothie, made from soy milk, avocado, and coconut paste.

Avocados are among the most versatile of all the fruits. 'Natures Butter', as it's called it in certain circles. Ryan picked up the Avocado Smoothie recipe by a man she met in the market, who was also buying avocados.

Avocado recipes make for great conversation, while avocado connoisseurs are great conversationalists.

The only real question is which is the cause and which is the effect.

To set the mood, we had the final episode of Bravo's Top Chef playing in the background.

Watching the last episode of a reality show is just as worthwhile as watching it all the way from the beginning, and 13x more efficient.

Harold won.

Its how you open an avocado. Down the middle with a knife.

The pit, or 'egg' as some call it, is not edible. The only thing you can do with it is to fruitlessly try and grow more avocado. Fruitlessly.

Slice the pulp into little squares and drop them in a blender.

Ryan shows off the coconut paste. Which is apparently hilarious stuff.

Ryan bought the paste at the local C-Town. The 'C' in C-Town stands for cheap.
Or cost-effective. Or Compton. Whatever. Either way, C-Town apparently hires the surliest workers they can find, making each visit there as uplifting as a trip to the nursing home.

Why does C-Town do this? Because they can.

Scoop some of the coconut paste into the blender, along with some soy milk and ice cubes.

And blend that shit. Blend it like you mean it.

Oh yes. Avocado smoothie. I know you want it, I know you do. You don't have to lie to me, really you don't. Tell me you want it.

The Avocado smoothie. As edible as sugar, as delicious as yogurt.

Surprise indeed!

Scoping out the apartment scene, I decided to check out some of my old stomping grounds. This here is literally the first bed I ever slept on in New York City. There was just as much cat hair on the couch then as there is now. It treated me like a king.

Sleeping on it now is Mr Paws, or Inspector Snugglsaurus, or whatever they've decided to name the thing this week.

The cat uses 'Worlds Best' cat litter. Made from corn, which is the best.

At some point I re-acquired my still favorite jacket that had been left in storage since June. I then did the first thing I could do, which was to see if anything was left in the pockets that could be spent or eaten.

Out of one pocket fell a fine whitish grain, which might have been either salt, sugar or sand.

It was Sour Patch Kids sugar. Another fine surprise.

The 2nd course was some sort of a bread with cheese, figs, nuts, pear, and honey. Ryan tells me that she had it once at a restaurant, and wanted to emulate the eating experience for me.

The proper version of this dish should actually be a baguette, but C-Town was only selling 'heroes'. Ryan's not one to let C-town break her spirit, however...

...because she throws it right into the broiler. Did you know stoves come with broilers? Incredible things they are. They toast roast and 'broil', yet most never use it for anything beyond pan storage.

...and out it comes. Smoking with deliciousness.

This meal requires figs, another 'fringe-fruit'. Chop them up good

...or just throw them into that blender. Same result in a tenth the time.

Ricotta cheese and honey. Why not indeed!

Add the figs, some chopped walnuts, and pear bits.

I still suspect these were all random leftovers lying around Ryan's apartment, but she assures me it was all premeditated.

Sooooo premeditated.

As if the taste wasn't complicated enough, we decided to pour some of the avocado smoothie on top of the hero-blend.

It definitely tasted unique, in the strongest meaning of the word. And it all got eaten. All of it.

Ryan interacting with the honey and pear rind.

Reduce reuse recycle. Grow a tree if you've got the means.

Will it live?

No. I'm sure its already dead.


to RyanBags

to main